Well, nothing has changed in the last 30 or so days. I haven't inhaled THC once, giving myself a much-needed mental break. You see, I thought that if I took a break, my anxiety and over thinking about stupid shit and all this self-doubt would resolve, as marijuana sometimes tend to have that effect.
side note - on the bright side, my imagination has been out of control lately - in the best way possible.
what a contradiction.
I have decided that when it comes to my emotions - mainly confidence and others along those lines - I am a fucking schizophrenic. Example: I'll wake up feeling shitty about something; hours later, I'm super stoked and very confident about whatever it is. Is that normal? I don't know. Am I even making sense?
cue "the first eviction notice." and this is why I love the Lawrence Arms:
...attention fading, breathless i'm a mess, kissless i'm in distress...i've abandoned old identities, skin i couldn't fit into, songs i couldn't write, my voice will fade into this starless night...can i get much blinder? can i kick myself much harder? have i accepted this, to torture myself? you can't see me, have i invented you? i'm barely breathing, youre so easy to believe in, and it's so depressing that i'm always second guessing, that i'm always second guessing, that i'm always second guessing myself...
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